He Asks If He Can Kiss Him
by im-aggressive
Summary: and Tim says yes. [TimKon, one-shot, short summary inside]


_A/N: Idek what this timeline is. This is a mess - it was meant to be a drabble, but turned into a full one-shot._

 _So it basically follows Tim's journey in figuring out who he is and what he wants in a relationship. It has the headcanon that Tim's asexual in it (specifically: homoromantic asexual), which plays a large role. It goes through a couple pf girlfriends but wraps up with open-ended TimKon. In all honesty, I ship literally everything, but in this one, I settled on TimKon because it's very cute._

 _So yeah. If you would like to drop a review, it's much appreciated:) This is, to reiterate, a mess, but it was fun to write. Rated T._

* * *

Tim Drake loved Stephanie Brown.

She was kind, funny, beautiful - - and she broke his heart when she died. Even now, as Stephanie bounded around in her new Batgirl uniform, alive and healthy, Tim loved her unconditionally. She was family, she was a friend, she was a _Robin_.

But romantically?

God _damn_ Tim had thought so. She was an attractive girl who had obviously liked him, a high school boy going through everyone's favorite phase of life: puberty. She had expressed interest in him, and he figured he would return it - and so, they had dated.

Tim always thought that the reason they never worked out was because of all of the unnecessary heartache her faked death had brought upon them. They were still in touch, hung out together, fought crime together, and Tim still loved her, _knew_ he did. Stephanie loved him, too. But in both eyes, it was strictly platonic.

Tim tried again.

Cassie lived up to her name - she was a truly _wonderful_ girl. He loved her because he couldn't be mad when she was around. She was the type of person who lit up the room just by quirking a smile.

But Cassie wanted - _needed_ \- more out of a boyfriend. And he. . .he couldn't give her enough. When they were alone, when they kissed. . .Tim was always the first to stop them. It got to the point where Cassie was _ready_ \- and he most certainly was not. He couldn't. And so, he was the one to break it off. They ended it on an understanding note, agreeing to remain friends. As Dick put it, in a feeble attempt to cheer him up afterward, "The Boy Wonder just wasn't destined to complete the Wonder Girl."

For a long time, Tim strayed away from the world of dating. There were more tries, desperate to awaken _something_ inside of himself, but it never went very far. Tim began avoiding all sexual or potentially sexual encounters with women, going as far as to use handcuffs on Rose Wilson to restrain her from touching him in that way.

So Tim then turned to "research". But provocative pictures of women, or anyone for that matter, failed to get any real reaction from him. It got. . .scary, strange, _surreal_. Did he feel nothing? Was he broken? Was that why things didn't work with Cassie? Or any of his past girlfriends?

"There's a word for that," Dick told him when Tim actually built up some courage and decided to confide in someone. By the end of it, poor Tim was flushed red in the cheeks and his eyes were embarrassingly damp and he wasn't looking his brother in the face.

When Dick said that, though, voice gentle and empathetic, Tim forced himself to meet his gaze.

Dick smiled. "You're asexual, Tim. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just not into that sort of stuff."

It was like Mount Justice had been lifted from his shoulders. As Dick explained this phantom sexuality to him, Tim felt relief surging through his veins like it was a drug. But then Dick said something that only made him royally confused.

"Wait," Tim said slowly. "Sexual and romantic attraction aren't the same thing?"

"Nah," Dick said lightly, doing up his boots. "They coincide a lot, but not always."

". . .What?"

"Do you ever meet someone," Dick began, looking up sincerely, "and think, 'I want to cuddle that individual in particular and travel the world with them while buying a dog'?"

Tim blinked. "No."

Dick laughed. "Weird example, sorry." He stood, offering him a hand. "But whether or not you find someone like that - who _won't_ pressure you to have unwanted sex - won't make you any less of a person than the next guy. Okay?"

Tim nodded, smiling and taking his hand. "Thanks, Dick."

For a while, Tim _doesn't_ find anyone who fits the Nightwing's description. He loves many people; he loves Stephanie, he loves Cassie, Dick, Bruce, Alfred, every member of his team. But it's all a very. . . _innocent_ kind of love. Tim hasn't. . . _clicked_ with anyone. And he's actually perfectly fine with that. He's happy being a part of the League, a protector of Gotham and the world at large, seeing Bruce and Alfred and a newly introduced Damian Wayne at the manor every day (and ducking every time Damian figures it'd be fun to kick him in the head - they don't get along real well yet, but Dick says they'll be 'besties' someday).

But one evening, Cassie leans over and whispers something in his ear during a mission. "Kon's been staring at you all night."

"What?"

That didn't make any sense. What was so different that was earning him attention? Did his mask slip? (He checks immediately at the thought, but it hasn't moved an inch.)

Cassie snickers lowly. She reaches up, pulls at the new cowl, and tugs at his hair underneath. "He hasn't seen you in weeks, Red. You haven't cut your hair and I think it caught his eye yesterday."

"Is it that bad?" he whispers back. They're sitting with their backs against the wall, waiting for confirmation over the Comm that phase two has been completed. Until then, it gives them time to hold a conversation. And Cassie's taking advantage of it.

"That's the opposite of what I was getting at!" she tells him softly, giggling. "It makes you look like a rugged mess."

"And that's. . .bad? Good?"

"It's good."

". . .If you say so. . ."

Cassie rolls her eyes. "Look, I just thought you should know that you've gotten Kon's head to turn in your direction, and that's not an easy task to accomplish. Congratulations, stud~"

Tim survives the mission and leaves for home with a very confused expression on his face, one that's even visible through the mask that didn't slip. Cassie grins at him the entire ride back to the Zeta location, winking once or twice, to which Tim replies with an overly dramatic mouthing of " _What?_ ". The squad begins to take notice of their wordless conversation about halfway through the trip and Conner leans over to Tim, whispering, "You two all right?"

Tim blushes and tells him that they're fine. Cassie winks again.

"I don't get it," Tim tells Dick that night in the Bat Cave. "What did she mean by all of that?"

Dick is giggling into his coffee like an idiot. "I believe what Wonder Girl was implying," he says carefully while sipping at the steaming drink, "is that Superboy has a lil' crush on Red Robin."

Tim's instant reflex is to shake his head. "That's the dumbest thing you've said all day."

"New record," Dick nods happily. "But seriously, I think Cassie's on to something."

" _I_ think you're both crazy," Tim says before closing the elevator doors that lead to Wayne Manor above. He is 100% done with this discussion and it only just began. Dick waves goodbye with a shit-eating grin on his stupid face.

It starts slow, and during the entire process, Tim is cursing both Dick and Cassie.

Later that week, Conner finally comments on Tim's shaggier hair, admitting that he "kinda likes it". Tim stares at him through his shades, unsure of what to say, so he dumbly mutters out a quiet, "Uh. . .thanks." Conner smiles slightly, and his friend continues staring like he's never seen anything like it.

Of course, Tim has seen Conner smile before. He did it a lot when he was dating M'gann. He still does it when they complete missions, when they have Team Movie Night, when Dick or Artemis or Wally or Kaldur visit or join them on the next assignment. He smiles when he sees Bart and Jaime playing a prank on someone who isn't him and he smiles when Tim hugs him after a particularly dangerous battle. Conner actually smiles a lot for someone so impassive and brooding.

So why this specific smile has Tim so mesmerized is completely over his head and Tim couldn't give less of a crap why; he just hopes he doesn't look too weird because he's still staring like a moron.

Conner's vague compliments become gradually more frequent and Tim finds himself returning them. Eventually, he goes to Dick again, asking if it's possible to be attracted to a man without wanting to go _all the way_ with him. He likes kisses, he says. But anything past that is off limits, and Dick already knows that. Dick tells him yeah, that's totally fine. He says he thinks Tim and Conner will be a cute couple, and Tim flips him the bird.

Tim Drake loves Stephanie Brown. He loves Cassandra Sandsmark. He loves his family, his friends, and he loves Conner Kent.

But romantically?

Conner asks him one night, when they're curled up on the couch together watching a late night television program, if he has dated anyone _seriously_ since Cassie. Tim raises an eyebrow at him from behind the cowl he now wears. "No."

Conner thoughtfully nods once, gaze never leaving the TV screen. Tim looks away. "Have you? Since. . ."

He sighs softly. "No."

They sit there without speaking for a while, Conner placing his chin in his hand, elbow on the armrest, Tim pulling his legs up onto the cushion to hug his knees.

Conner opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. "I'll never age. I'll look the same until the day I die."

"I'll get old and wrinkly."

"Not necessarily a bad thing."

"I'd never be able to have sex."

"What?"

Tim purses his lips, never having said this to anyone but Dick and Cassie. "I. . .Nightwing says it's called 'asexuality'. I don't like sex. It's not something I ever want to do."

Conner nods again. "That makes sense."

"It does?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

Tim laughs a bit. "I hadn't even heard of it until a few months ago."

"I hadn't heard of it until about two seconds ago. Still makes sense to me." Conner shrugs. "Though that's not saying much. Even now, I'm _still_ learning about the world."

It's silent again and neither of them make a sound for a long time. The show ends and a new one starts. It's not very interesting - the plot's a disaster (heavy on the _dis_ -) and the forensic analysis is all wrong (Dick would be ashamed, Tim sort of is, too). Tim murmurs something about the chemical reaction being totally inaccurate and Conner chuckles airily.

And it's Tim who says it. "I'm a mess. I'm still trying to figure out what it is I want."

"Me, too," Conner says, voice raspy with tiredness. It's eleven PM and they had two missions today, everyone else is asleep, and they're the only two blockheads who are awake.

"But. . .I'm willing to give it a good shot. If. . .if you are." Tim has almost entirely buried his face in his knees by now. He has this terrible habit of blushing a bright shade of red; it happens every time Damian insults him so he can't retort without looking pathetic.

Conner smiles that wonderful smile of his. It's an exhausted one, but full of pure delight. "Yeah. . . I am. If you are." He finally cranes his neck to look at the boy. "You just have to tell me what you're comfortable with. Okay?"

"That goes for you, too," Tim whispers, chewing on his lower lip and offering a lopsided smirk. ". . .You sure about this?"

"No," Conner confesses awkwardly. "But. . .I guess it can't hurt to just. . .go for it. Right?"

Tim laughs aloud, throwing his head back and frightening his teammate. He beams at Conner through the fabric of the cowl, not having changed from his uniform out of sheer laziness. "If we let this hurt us, it will. But if we communicate and all that fun jazz, it should be. . . _okay_."

Conner brightens considerably. "You know, I really do like your hair like that."

Tim huffs in amusement. "Thanks, Supes."

They don't really know where they're going with this. Whether or not it lasts forever is up for debate. Conner Kent will never visibly grow old, Tim Drake will go gray and eventually use a cane. But for now, Conner Kent likes Tim Drake, and Tim Drake likes Conner Kent. They're okay with keeping it PG, they're okay with taking things slow, and they're okay with trying new things. It's an adventure, Dick says when he finds out. He says that he wishes them luck.

Conner asks if he can kiss him that night. Tim says yes. But first he pulls back the cowl, running a hand through his messy hair that Conner reaches out to touch affectionately. Tim's eyes are twinkling, Conner swears they are, and they tentatively lean forward, brushing lips shyly and smiling like dorks. They do it again, firmer, and Tim pushes his nose in the crook of Conner's neck, nuzzling him. They hold each other, bodies sore from fighting, hearts racing from excitement, and lids drooping from sleepiness.

They fall asleep there, and in the morning, Conner asks again if he can kiss him, and Tim says yes.

* * *

 _ad finem_


End file.
